Business or pleasure ?

To speak, perchance to dream ..

Invariably, "live chat" with a customer service person or thing on a website results in anything but liveliness. Deathly boredom or utter frustration is more like it. But not today. The following "conversation" has just taken place with a chap at a new company called Nutmeg, which is taking the low-cost, self-service model of a Zopa to the fat-cat, fusty old fund management industry:

Love-haytch relationships

In my day, when I were a nipper, where I come from, etc. etc. the number of people who pronounced the letter H as "haytch" was small. All right-speaking folk knew it was "aytch". So who'd've thunk the day would come when I too became a haytcher ?!

The reason is simply that "aytch" is not quickly enough and easily enough understood over the phone, where we spend so much of our semi-automaton lives these days, repeating ad nauseam our personal letters and numbers. Aytch can sound too close to "eight".

I related this life detail to the woman from M&S Bank this morning, as I robotically spelled out my postcode for her, complete with a penultimate "haytch" and she said: "Ooh, I do that too, never used to, think it's for the same reason as you." The ghost of a journalist in me said, Aha, me-plus-one-other-person-changing-our-verbal-habits-equals-an-important-new-social-trend.

My beef with "meat" !

Alt. titles: So hungry I could eat a horse .. Don't ask, don't tell.
Growing up in Britain as a sort-of-kosher Jewish person I would often ask hot dog sellers: what kind of sausage is it ? Ditto with pies or stews or any other form of non-distinct carnivorous fayre. And invariably they would reply: "It's meat", as if I was a moron. Unfailingly, this "meat' turned out to be pork and thus off my menu. It was a revelation, arriving years later in New York, to find that their sausage "meat" usually turned out to be not just beef but also kosher.

Fry me to the moon

Just watched a charming Wikipedia promo video, showing some of the multinational good eggs who volunteer their efforts to keep it running. As one of the small contributors to Wiki's latest appeal, I salute their work.

But I also couldn't help noticing the stark contrast between the voice of the New Jersey woman and the voices of the other women from places like Poland, India, Italy, Russia, Uzbekistan, Malaysia and Iraq. All except Miss New Jersey had pleasant voices. The US young female, however, suffered from what's known as "vocal fry", although I keep calling it "vocal croak". It's a way for mostly young, deluded females to sound what they imagine to be sophisticated, worldly and / or businesslike. The result is aural torture.

Fear factor

Today, while watching his favourite show, In the Night Garden, Sam suddenly became afraid of the Haahoos, and required elevation into his daddy's arms. Since his general development has taken a quantum leap in the past month or two, with the long-awaited talking phase finally becoming an explosive reality, I assume this newfound fear is a by-product of the newfound sophistication - tree of knowledge, and all that. Whatever the reason, watching a human being assemble itself is without doubt the most fascinating show on earth.*

Update: today it was the Pinky Ponk !

Update 2: and today it was laughter suddenly replacing fear ! Another first.

* And with the highest level of audience participation.

Consuming passions

I'm an Amazon addict .. and that's not even counting my Kindle obsession (see earlier post). Amazon's consumer product reviews and corresponding rating system are  pure genius. Like many men, I always hated "shopping" but Amazon has totally changed that. I don't feel like I'm schlepping around with a dreary to-do list and a probably pointless series of physical journeys from A to B to C to Z. Now it's more like hunting, which we males are supposed to prefer: stalking your prey, assessing your chances and then - attack ! Shoot that poison arrow. Often at night and from the comfort of one's own cave. I'm about to capture some sticky-backed cork tiles, which is a deeply satisfying feeling. But even better when you then stumble across a product review like this one. Shopping and anti-shopping all delightfully gift-wrapped in one seamless experience. It doesn't get any better than that.