"Brazil's not for you", some people say when they hear my complaints. Some but not all, since many value the glass half empty perspective, especially if they feel unable to say the same things in public. But there is one perspective which trumps all: looking after a baby.
As a first time father and, simultaneously, a first time visitor to Brazil, and not being here exactly for holiday or work but some other kind of quotidian existence, much of my time, like this morning, is taken up with parenting duties. My son is 7 months now and teeth are beginning to show, but it's not just teething agonies to deal with. He needs a lot more stimulation so that brings a different kind of parental pressure. And guilt. The cost and quality of decent baby products here is one of the worst aspects of Brazil, a country which otherwise shows so much easy affection to little people.
Regular readers may also have noticed my recurring references to shoddy or downright dangerous sidewalks, a constant irritant when pushing a baby buggy. Nowhere for me is "charming" or "colourful" if I have to fight its streets every inch of the way. Likewise getting into and out of taxis. Apart from the expense, they sometimes lack room for the folded buggy. Noticeably in Rio, where all taxis had a chunk of their boot (trunk) taken up by a big cylinder - a makeshift semi-conversion to ethanol or gas.
Much as I adore Sam, his crying - especially when I'm still trying to wake up properly and eat breakfast - can be one of life's trials. Ditto when I'm trying to read. Right now, finally, after more Paracetamol, Bonjela and all-round TLC, he is finally back asleep. But as usual the phone keeps ringing with automated and / or mindless cold-calling sales crap, or just wrong numbers.
So, yes, perhaps this Brazil isn't for me, but then, footloose child-free people, would this Brazil really be for you either?
As a first time father and, simultaneously, a first time visitor to Brazil, and not being here exactly for holiday or work but some other kind of quotidian existence, much of my time, like this morning, is taken up with parenting duties. My son is 7 months now and teeth are beginning to show, but it's not just teething agonies to deal with. He needs a lot more stimulation so that brings a different kind of parental pressure. And guilt. The cost and quality of decent baby products here is one of the worst aspects of Brazil, a country which otherwise shows so much easy affection to little people.
Regular readers may also have noticed my recurring references to shoddy or downright dangerous sidewalks, a constant irritant when pushing a baby buggy. Nowhere for me is "charming" or "colourful" if I have to fight its streets every inch of the way. Likewise getting into and out of taxis. Apart from the expense, they sometimes lack room for the folded buggy. Noticeably in Rio, where all taxis had a chunk of their boot (trunk) taken up by a big cylinder - a makeshift semi-conversion to ethanol or gas.
Much as I adore Sam, his crying - especially when I'm still trying to wake up properly and eat breakfast - can be one of life's trials. Ditto when I'm trying to read. Right now, finally, after more Paracetamol, Bonjela and all-round TLC, he is finally back asleep. But as usual the phone keeps ringing with automated and / or mindless cold-calling sales crap, or just wrong numbers.
So, yes, perhaps this Brazil isn't for me, but then, footloose child-free people, would this Brazil really be for you either?
Would you be able to, perhaps, just move with your child elsewhere? Maybe go back to the UK?
ReplyDeleteDo you ever think that eventually, your hatred of Brazil will end up impacting in your ability to be a good father, a good partner?
I dread to think of what my Brazilian partner would feel like if I hated her country as much as you do...
Why post anonymously ? Just asking. But since you so considerately ask, yes, all options are open and being discussed. And, no, Brazil is not affecting my ability to be a good father but perhaps to be a an even better father. My Brazilian partner has sometimes struggled with my view of her home country but at other times her criticism has been even stronger than mine. A more in-depth discussion of my private life would have to be reserved for someone with more than just "Anonymous" as their name.
ReplyDeleteNo special reason, really. But, being a marketing person, you probably know better then most that the nature of anonymous comments can allow us to break certain societal rules and take chances...
ReplyDeleteHaving said that, if I ever met you in person, I don't think I would ask the questions above for many reasons, including the basic fact that we are strangers to each other. Or the fact that you seem to be quite adamant about the subject of quality of life in Brazil, so why argue?
However, since you openly post about your private life and misadventures in Brazil on the web, I was curious about your reasons to live in a place you hate, that's all. But in order to do that, I don't necessarily need to tell you who I am.
In any case, I respect your views and, FWIW, I wish you good luck in whatever you decide to do and that you can live a happy life in a place where you feel more comfortable, be that the UK or any other country in the world.
A touch of forensic analysis on the above comment - three small grammatical errors - plus my partner's second opinion suggests it was written by a Brazilian woman.
ReplyDeleteI don't think it's a simple "single and footloose" versus "in a relationship and baby" argument. People don't choose to live in Sao Paulo just for fun. Like most mega cities it's expensive. So living with no job and limited income while bringing up a baby in a country in which you don't speak the language and have no natural affinity for is going to be challenging. I am almost sure that any other mega city in the world would bring its own challenges too. I don't think it's all about Brazil...
ReplyDeleteDeb, it's not all about babies and it's not all about Brazil. But I don't agree that all megacities are equal, not by a long way. And this blog isn't all about just one individual post.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous, I am perhaps forceful in my criticisms but never adamant so there is every reason to argue. As for the supposedly fascinating netiquette of anonymous blog comments, give me a break.
ReplyDelete