Non-contact centres

Once upon a time, in a far-off land called The Past, there were no "contact centres". There was no outsourcing. There were only companies with direct employees. When you needed to get in touch with them you could call a normal landline number and speak to a normal person, by which I mean someone possessing a certain amount of common sense, responsibility, accountability and autonomy. And if they couldn't help personally, they would find a way to escalate your inquiry to higher levels.

If, say, you had spent over eight months abroad on a nine-month travel insurance policy and, because you were now caught in a visa nightmare for your son and your partner, requiring perhaps an additional month of travel insurance .. If this were the case in days of yore, you might expect to find a sympathetic ear on the other end of the line, belonging to someone who could make an exception to the rules and allow you to pay for a small extension. Not just sympathetic but clever too, because they knew that a friend in need is a friend indeed and a pathetically grateful customer would redouble his loyalty.

But that is the dim and distant past. Today Axa Assistance (if only!) behaves like every other company that wishes to keep its customers out of sight and out of mind: it uses a contact centre* to ensure there can be minimal contact, even less real communication and absolutely no thinking outside the tick-box. When you say: what is so impossible about adding an extra "emergency" month onto a nine-month policy, no matter what the additional cost, given the extenuating circumstances and on grounds of, whisper it, compassion ... you are simply met by entities purporting to be human beings but in fact no different to a computer programmed to say no.

Can you escalate the inquiry then ? "No." Can you suggest anything ? "No." Can you consult with anyone ? "Colleague says you shouldn't have travelled if you knew this was going to be a problem." But I didn't know what the future would hold, did I ? "No." That's why I buy insurance. Any final suggestions ? "You can return to the UK and then leave again on a new period of insurance." But that's not really practical right now, is it ? "No."

And so concludes yet another exchange of wasted words that somehow passes for "contact".

PS: No.

* UK not India.

Update: Just been told by a local insurance agent that there is no way to get it here if I don't have a CPF number, ie Brazilian national insurance number, which I don't.