Watching the detectives

So the four detectives made a third and I imagine final appearance at our home, this time to speak at length to P. Their conclusion is that we, or rather I, were definitely targeted, since the attack happened so soon after I had returned home. They also said that the "Brazilian problem" meant that although our break-in was common gossip in the neighbourhood, no-one knew anything when questioned by them. Too much fear of reprisals from all-powerful criminals.

I was targeted because although I look like a slob most of the time, I apparently still radiate the glamorous glow of a foreigner. Never has the English language acted as such an unwanted come-on. And when you say "foreigner" in these parts, you obviously mean rich. In insular Brazil, "rich foreigner" is a tautology. Foreigner alone implies all sorts of eye-watering treasures and wads of cash. It's almost funny that our raiders, according to the detectives, would have staged their daring robbery on the assumption that we had far more loot stashed away. I can only apologize for any inconvenience they may have experienced as a result of this misinformation.

Irony of ironies that at a time when my finances have never felt more stretched, at a time when I have been struggling to cover the basics in horribly expensive Brazil, I am being classed as "rich". If I was, believe me, I wouldn't be here. I would be somewhere far away in "foreign" land.

The detectives were happy to hear that we are moving out of the area. They reminded us not to talk to people here as we might in London. "It's different in Brazil." Those four famous words again from my four favourite detectives.

This elegant phrase should be the national motto, written on the flag, instead of the comical "Order & Progress". Maybe they can use it for the World Cup and the Olympics ? After all, "It's different in Brazil" is delightfully ambiguous.